I've been stuck on the bus.
That’s my excuse for not updating my blog this month. Now normally, I’d roll my eyes at that kind of reasoning. Kind of like when a guy blew off at date with me because he claimed had an ingrown toenail. Lame.
But in this case, it’s the truth. I’ve been on the road (read: on the bus) EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND for the past 15 weeks. I’ve been to the beach (20 hours, round trip). I’ve been to Mexico City twice (14 hours round trip, each time). I’ve been an invited guest at a wedding in Tequistitengo, Morelos (12 hours round trip), and I’ve also managed to crash a random 25th wedding anniversary in Tlaxiaco, Oaxaca (6 hours, plus big congrats to Tere and Mario!). I dressed up like cookie monster in Putla (10 hours). I’ve spilled wine at a birthday party in Querétaro (20 hours). And I’ve been stranded on the side of the road in The Middle of Nowhere (2 hours).
So, I’ve been to lots of places. But mostly, I’ve just been on the bus.
My Spanish neighbor seems to have caught the same travel bug that I have. She’s joined me on several of the aforementioned marathon trips, each time fearing that she’ll return to Huajuapan with “nalgas planas” (a flat ass) from so much sitting on the bus. And it’s kind of proven true: Our butts are looking smaller these days. Maybe it’s from all of the dancing we’re doing in salsa class.
But the "flat butt factor" is something you have to take into account when you live on top of a mountain. EVERYTHING takes forever to get to. There’s no talking about distances “as the crow flies” here in Oaxaca: What should be an easy 120 kilometers (75 miles) to a neighboring town is a hellish 2.5 hours through winding roads and switchbacks. What I wouldn’t give to be that crow sometimes…
So I’m planning to travel to Guatemala in a couple of weeks. I had all of these romanticized notions of traveling through the jungles of southern Mexico by bus. Of dozing off with my iPod and waking up Central America. Of walking across the border. The ultimate roadtrip, as it were.
But all of that will take about 30 hours. Each way. Minimum.
So I’m going to be the crow, damnit. I’m going to fly. Just hit the "purchase ticket" button on good ol' Orbitz to confirm it.
To bad it’s still 7 hours to the airport -- you guessed it -- on the bus.